When life floods around you, it still fits in my hand.

As the the waters rose higher and higher above the ground, the boat floated safely on the surface. Genesis 7:18

In 2005, Hurricane Katrina annihilated Louisiana's coast and left a city in ruin. Hundreds lost their live in New Orleans and its outlying regions; thousands more mourned the loss of loved ones, homes, and belongings. Grief reverberated across the world as survivors faced starting over with nothing.

It's difficult enough to hear about horrors of a flood on the radio, but it is still more heart-wrenching to see the devastation on television, where pain-filled faces register emotions we can't really begin to touch. To experience such loss firsthand is difficult for most of us to comprehend.

That is, until we realize pain is pain, something no one escapes. Life, like water, is a blessing that can overtake us with little to no warning. It was no secret that New Orleans was below sea level. Its citizens built levees to hold back the unpredictable ocean outside their doors. But their efforts proved futile when those levees broke.

We may not live on a floodplain, but we will face times when life dares to drowns us. Problems may pummel us, leaving us gasping for relief from circumstances that seem determined to destroy us.

God is the only levee that will hold no matter what. He holds you as you face life's storms in his palm, and he won't let the waters overflow the boundaries of his hand. You might feel as if you've sunk to the bottom, but if you look up through the murkiness, you'll discover the waves haven't overtaken him. They never will.

Those who seek God wholeheartedly will experience his strength in the midst of whatever shakes up their world. God will provide in his way and time, and he'll see you safely to his destination for you when you rely on him.

Like Noah and his family during history's most disastrous flood, you can float safely within God's grasp.

Trust him to be your unbreachable Levee.

Today, I want to focus on....

The possibilities and not the limitations.
The open doors and not those that close on my face.
The challenges that make me stronger and not the weaknesses in me.

Today I decide not to be a victim of my past. I choose to be the strong woman I have become, because of my past. 

I encourage you to join me, and focus on the beautiful you!

"When you become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope." Henri Nouwen

One day at a time...

I am the God of newness; never think I am finished with you...

"I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? Isaiah 43:19

This is something that has helped me along the way; I would like to share it with you. Today, I pray that you can take the negative in your life and turn it around for something good. Whatever it is that you've gone through, or that you are going through today. Whatever reason brought you to the place you are today as a single mother, there is always an opportunity for a fresh start as long as we breathe.

Summertime brings with it the thrill of dipping your tows in a pool of water, cool to the touch and refreshing to your very core. Ahh! Can't you almost feel it just thinking about it? There is nothing quite like being rejuvenated after feeling dried out and shriveled, whether we're talking about physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or even financially. Fresh is good; we love a new start because we love imagining how things could be better.

God finds great joy in providing the refreshment of a new start. He loves rebuilding, reforming, and re-creating, and he loves to see us get excited about the hope of new beginnings. With infinite power to do whatever he pleases, he is pleased to find endless ways to amaze us with his ability to change our circumstances and grow us.

He knows what you're going through, but more importantly he knows where he wants to take you and who he wants you to become. The God who made a path through the seas is at this moment creating a way for you through your present troubles; but he also is forming your character, refreshing it with his own.

Count on refreshment on the other side, but don't miss the signs of God at work between here and there. They are evidence of his delight in refreshing and re-creating you. He is a visionary who offers glimpses of his coming attractions if you keep your eyes poised on him, looking always for what he is about to do.

Only a God so gracious would give you constant reason for hope in the future while blessing you with the refreshment of his presence along the way. He is not finished with you. Stay close and see what he does next.

It is so hard for a single mom to think positive about all of this when she has been through so much. Whether her husband passed away, she was betrayed by infidelity, abused by her partner or even people in her childhood; whether she had an unplanned pregnancy. Being a single mom can be very overwhelming. All these things can bring bitterness, resentment and so much pain, that she cannot see past what she goes through in life.

I know that, because I have been there, and I have felt that way. It doesn't matter where we come from, our upbringing, economic and/or social status, most of us did not ask to be where we are today. And when life becomes so challenging that you feel like you have lost all strength and hope, it is easier to think about the problem rather than to think about the solution. But there is always a solution. Our children are our inspiration to move forward. They deserve a good and healthy life. Do you agree?

If you are reading this today, trust me, God is not finished with you. You were not created by accident. God can refresh you daily and show you many great things. You might not see it today, or even tomorrow, but with hope and faith in God, you will find the strength to move towards a better place.

Meditate on what it takes to plant and maintain roses. I don't have a garden, but I once met someone who taught me about this. The most effective way to make your garden grow and bloom is to learn how to plant and care for Roses. Roses can be expensive to both buy and grow, so making sure you have the right knowledge combined with the right tools is very important.

You might wonder why I'm writing about roses. Well, just as the roses, in order for us to grow and bloom, we need to learn how to rebuild a solid foundation in our lives so that we don't crumble down to pieces when life gets tough. And we need to learn to care of ourselves. If we don't do it, no one else will. What about God? Can't He do it for me? Of course, but He also respects our decision of taking the first step of faith. It is up to us to open the door when He knocks. He wants to show us what is missing in our life, but we must be willing to let Him show us.

Once you have planted the roses, it's time to learn how to take care of them so they flourish. It doesn't take a day or two to make the roses flourish as beautiful as they can flourish in a garden.  Just like that, change in our lives does not become noticeable to us in a day, and sometimes in years. But if we do not give up, knowing that we can get through one day at a time, soon enough we will find ourselves in a better place. I know this, because "I'm not where I am supposed to be, but I am most definitely not where I used to be."

Provide water. A large rose bush may need as much as 10 gallons of water each week, but be careful if there is not adequate drainage. You should water overhead early in the day when the leaves have adequate time to dry before nightfall. This helps prevent black spot. We cannot survive on food alone. If you are not into reading the bible, I would suggest that you begin each day meditating on a list of good and positive things about your life. There has to be at least 10 things in your life that you can write down on a piece of paper. It might sound silly, but it is a helpful exercise that will water your soul, your mind and heart. It will motivate you. But most of all don't lose hope.

Weather and lack of nourishment can dry the roses. Sometimes you can see dry roses and leaves that must be carefully cut off so that the whole plant doesn't die all together. There are more things to be done to maintain roses, but let me just tell you this. Healthy things grow. Put your hope in God. Hope sounds good, but what is it really? What does it look like, practically speaking, in someone's life? Hope provides the soul nourishment we need to withstand intense pressure and stress, as well as trials and disappointments. Anything that feels like is weighing on us.

We might worry whether we'll make it through the dry times. Thriving seems out of the question; we are weary from the effort to survive. But hope looks beyond the exposed browns of here and there and dares to draw nourishment from God's supply. Hope sees refreshment and life in the midst of what it feels to be prolonged dry seasons. Hope is strength that doesn't wither beneath a furnace of worry. Hope hydrates your spirit, despite what you are dealing with today.

I am only sharing because I know this has helped me and things have gotten better for me. And maybe financially it will always be hard for a single mom to do it alone. But when we begin to heal inside and our problems are not our only focus, we can actually have internal peace, knowing that if we made it through one more day, we can continue to try. You can ask God to refresh you today with His love. You can ask Him to ease the pain and hurt you have from things that have happened in the past; He will answer. We cannot do anything about yesterday. But we have today to live, and what we do today, will define our future and will give us new memories for yesterday.

I pray that God will help you to live on hope in Him, trusting Him for health and wholeness deep in your soul during the dry times.

With love,

Your Friend @ Hope for the Single Mothers

PICKING UP THE PIECES OF YOUR HOPE

Today I am thinking about you. Parenting without support can be overwhelming, and staying positive is even harder as a single mom. Bills to pay, deadlines to meet, responsibilities mount up on us daily. And all we can say is, "when do I get a break?!"

God knows we struggle to keep trusting, or hoping, when life kicks us down to stay there. Maybe you are experiencing brokenness that left you at the end of the end of the end of yourself. You have been tempted to shut down to protect yourself from more blows that bring despair and shame. When the hope you once had gradually has been beaten to shattered pieces, sometimes it seems more worthwhile to kick it out of sight.

Thankfully, you are never out of God's sight. His twenty-twenty vision of your life doesn't miss a single thing. Even if you have abandoned your last bits of hope, He is already picking up the pieces and rebuilding them, just as He did for me.

When circumstances threaten to destroy your hope, the one thing that can save it is to keep it based on God. Looking around at shattered circumstances only weakens you further. But focusing on Him, looking for his face, will give you the strength for one more step.

Stay positive, because you are much more than you think. You are a beautiful woman, who is strong, valuable, and worth it! No matter what the world says of you, God says, you are worth sending His only Son to die for you, because He loves you.

I am praying for you today, who ever you are single mom, beautiful in God's eyes. I am praying for you. You can also talk to God today, He is ready to listen and to show you the way.

Don't have the words to pray today? Here is a prayer you can say:

"God, I feel too worn out to risk hoping again. All I can do is fall down at your feet and ask for refreshment to endure today. Please grant me strength to trust your faithfulness at this moment."

I PUT MY HOPE IN YOU

Then God said, "Let us make us human beings in our image, to be like us." Genesis 1:26

Hope. It's about looking forward, seeing beyond the here and now, and anticipating the future. Hope pulls the joys of the future into the present because it believes there is more to come, and it doesn't wait to celebrate.

God is all about hope. He is full of hopes and dreams for us. We can see it right there in the first chapter of his Word. He created an ideal environment to sustain us because he intended a future for us. Since he made us in his image, he created us to reflect his hope-filled character.

Even before God created us and placed his image in us, he knew we were headed for disaster. We're sinners, and sin is an enemy of hope. However, God also knew himself. He is hope, which means he reigns over every trouble that threatens us as well as every sin we commit. He is our ever-present reason to celebrate.

Consider these truths today. Will your attitudes, words, and actions reveal a confidence that God will continue to be God? Not just in the Garden of Eden, not just in Sally Somebody's life, but in your life. And not just today, but tomorrow, next month, and years from now.

Circumstances are never the real killers of hope. The death of hope lies in forgetting to focus on the One whose image you bear.You can celebrate today, no matter what your current circumstances look like. Life often hurts, and you may not experience the answers or provisions right now, but God promises you a hope-filled future in Him.

"The best we can hope for in this life is a knothole peek at the shining realities ahead. Yet a glimpse is enough. It's enough to convince our hearts that whatever sufferings and sorrows currently assail us aren't worthy of comparison to that which waits over the horizon." Joni Eareckson Tada (Joni and Friends)

With love,

From one single mom to another. 

 

Every experience God gives us....

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!  Psalm 139:13-18

Balancing Time and Responsibilities

"To everything there is a season, and time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Please, Mom? Please?" At some time or another, children beg for a pet. They want a puppy, a kitty, or a hamster more than anything else in the world. And so they make rash promises. "I'll take care of it! I promise!" But the answering parent invariably uses the R word. "I don't think you're ready for the responsibility yet." All the child can see is the idealistic side of pet ownership. They want a pet to cuddle and play with and teach to do clever tricks. All the parent can see is the amount of work to be acquired with this new responsibility. Where a child sees an adorable puppy, the parent sees vet bills, walks in the rain, and soiled carpeting.

As a single mom, the last thing on my mind is to have the responsibility of a pet. Especially when I don't have the space or the money to take on such responsibility. But my son wanted a pet so bad; I shared with him how much responsibility he would have along with having a pet.

What is true with a puppy, is true in every area of life. With every new acquisition we make comes the responsibility to keep it up. This holds true with our use of time. Some things sound good at first - signing the kids up for soccer, joining a book club, teaching a preschool class on Sundays, and volunteering to bake cookies for the third grade bake sale. Sure there's nothing wrong with any of these things. But with each comes commitment of time and shuffling of our other responsibilities. There are never enough hours in the day for all the things we wish we could accomplish. But there is only so much you can physically do in one day. So we have to pick and choose. A balance must be struck between what time we have and what responsibilities fill the hours.

It is crucial to be able to balance our time and responsibilities when we have to fill in the shoes of two parents. And it is very important that we teach this to our children, by setting an example, and by showing them as well. My son thought he was ready for this. "I will give him a bath, feed him and play with him." He didn't realize that having a puppy is like having a baby. There are some sacrifices that were going to take place for the puppy to have a good life.

I prayed, and thought about it for so long. I knew that in the end if we got a puppy, we were not going to be able to keep him for a long time. But I needed to teach my son that sometimes we have to pick and choose. There are so many things we want as women, but we have to make some sacrifices for our children's well being. For whatever reason, we are faced with the biggest responsibility of our lives. We are single moms who have to shuffle our daily responsibilities, to make sure that our one biggest responsibility is taken care of.

On Christmas of 2011, I made the decision to get my son a puppy, which luckily was given to me for free. I told my son that I would be responsible for buying him food, taking him to the vet, and making sure that he had all the necessary supplies. I also told him that he would have the responsibility to care of him, feed him, play with him, and give him all the attention he needed. Of course, I knew that I would be part of that too.

Suddenly my son began to realize that it wasn't just about playing and teaching tricks. Sometimes he couldn't go play outside because the puppy would cry as soon as he walked out the door. He would come back feeling bad for the puppy, and frustrated that he wasn't able to play outside. We couldn't have a pet where we lived, so the puppy couldn't go outside all the time. We would have to take him in the car, and go to a park so he could have some outdoor time. My son also had a hard time teaching the puppy tricks although, he succeeded and learned about perseverance and patience. He would ask me for help when the puppy needed a bath, and so it turned out that giving the puppy a bath became my responsibility...go figure.

Soon enough, my son realized that he wasn't ready to have a puppy. He understood the responsibility behind it, and appreciated what I did for him. He was very sad to let him go, but learn that we have to sacrifice some things in life, to be able to accomplish other things that will ultimately affect our future. In his case, part of it was having the opportunity to socialize, to be able to focus on his homework, and play time with his legos, without having a puppy pulling his leg or chewing on his toys.

The poor puppy didn't see us all day, as I had to work and my son went to school. He was by himself in a small area of our apartment where he began to have anxiety and would destroy the carpet to get some attention. When we got home, it was hard for us to do anything else because he was so excited to see us, and wanted our full attention.

We have a greater responsibility, with being single moms who work, clean, run errands, help with homework, and do all the other things that we get ourselves into. Then, we need to have quality time with our children, and at the end of the day, we are not finished and haven't even gotten five minutes to just be women and not just moms. It is crucial that we do not allow ourselves to lose the balance in our lives.

I made sure we found a good home for the puppy where my son would be able to visit him if he needed to. He learned so much from that experience and knows that there is a time and a season for everything in life.

Very often we think that if we can just get that one, next vital thing we want so badly, our lives will magically fall into balance. Balancing our time and responsibilities may start with looking for lost or wasted time. Instead of raising our shoulders and saying, "where does time go?" we might need to take a long, careful look at just where our time went!

Every season of life carries with it different responsibilities. Our lives at age twenty are to a great extend, different from our lives at forty. Each season may require sacrifices on our part. Each season carries with it special blessings and joys. This week instead of digging deeper into the stressors in life, dig around for a while in your heart. What have your hopes been for each season in life? Have you had to set some of them aside for a season? Do  you ever wonder if God is using each season to teach you something? What have you learned?

This week ponder over your responsibilities. Do you have too many for the time you have? None of us wants to look back with regret for the time we have spent on unimportant things. Pray for uncommon clarity in seeing the things that truly matter. Pray for the courage to take on responsibilities that will require much of you. And in equal measure, pray for the courage to say no to the things that tax your time and energy to no good purpose.

Enjoy the little moments that you share with your children today!

Feel free to share your thoughts according to your experiences. We encourage positive thoughts, comments and ideas.

With much love,

Your Friend
@Hope for the Single Mom

Yogi learning how to eat solid food. He will be 1yr old in three months; we still see him from time to time.

Inspired by Women of Faith Study Guide Series "Living a Life of Balance"